I have a hard time making Lent "worthwhile", in general, because I feel like I'm always dealing with major issues in my life anyway. This year, in particular, if you've been reading my blog, you know I've been barely surviving, emotionally, mentally and physically. Dealing with the aftermath of my husband's stroke has worn on me in such a way that I have felt like I was barely alive. I had difficulty making the simple drive to work. I would have to remind myself every moment where I was going and why I was going there. And I would often cry my eyes out during the drive, feeling like I couldn't handle another day. And I would forget what I was doing, midstream, in the middle of my work day. I would get home and have absolutely no ambition to get dinner on or do housework, and I couldn't even face what needed to be done. I can easily say that the last 6 months has been the worst 6 months of my life.
Now, there is finally some light and some hope in terms of the load I'm carrying, specifically due to my schedule. And it's spring, which makes everything in my mental health and outlook improve due to the sunshine!!!
It's Good Friday. In my Church Tradition, we observe "Lent" for 40 days, a time of fasting, prayer, and repentance. It's not a time meant for self-deprecation. It's a time for us to remember what Jesus did for us, and to remember how much more we need of His help and grace. Today is the day we observe Jesus' death on the Cross.
It's not too late to make something of my Lent. To prepare myself for the celebration of Easter. To ask God for renewed grace and help to carry my burden with new strength.